Parent/Teacher interviews

Old World Values

As a young teacher some three decades past I felt insecure during parent /teacher interviews, before an older parent I still felt like a kid myself.  After becoming a father for the fourth time and teaching for thirty-five years my insecurity began to dissipate.

 I have met many types of parents.  The enabling parent would tell me, “My daughter does not act like that at home.  What are you doing to her at school?” It was always difficult shedding these parents of their conspiracy theories.  Parents of over-achieving students whose strong family values and work ethic led them to ask:  how could their violin prodigy-math genius-school council president- scholarship winning child improve?  I tended to lobby gently toward allowing their children to have a life outside of academics.

During the majority of interviews I discovered that it was the mothers, as care givers, organizers and multi-tasking family leaders who asked most of the pertinent questions.  When I tried to direct a question to a silent father type sitting restlessly before me I would see a flash of panic as he quickly deferred back to his wife, who alone held the family nurturing skills.

Of course there are many proud parents whose only reason for attending interviews is to reap the kudos and praise.  They certainly are deserving, but perhaps live too vicariously through their gifted children.  In contrast, my heart goes out to the moms who come to me apologizing for being the mother of one of my students, the child who is rebellious and insightful, yet angry at the world, while still knowing all the answers to life.

Recently, I have been teaching ESL, often at interviews my students serve as interpreters for their parents.  Frequently I wonder why my very long and detailed answers are translated so swiftly and with so few words.  Many of my immigrant parents have old world values and charm and want desperately for their children to have a better life.  One of my greatest honours as a teacher occurred when a Korean mom bowed to me and presented me a gift following an interview. I was speechless and deeply touched.

After so many interviews, and as they approach again, I prepare myself, and my classroom, gather my notes about me and clear my throat.

“Good evening Mrs Gonzalez…”