It must have been the seventh day because
God was resting, walking barefoot at the
Water’s edge having had a very busy week
Using evolution to create a world in just a
“week”… wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
At about phase 2, or was it 3 in “Earth’s
Developmental Plan,” HE saw that man
was arrogant and vain, in fact boldly
boasting they were the centre of the universe
and always using the third person masculine
pronouns in these pronouncements. This
brought a smile of amusement to
HIS face, muttering sarcastically,
“I thought I made two genders,
and what’s this? “Man the measure of all things.”
They think the planets revolve around
their little world. All hail their churches,
empires, and their wars.”
In the latter part of phase 4 Copernicus
Then Galileo with formula and telescope
Humbly postulated man was not the focus.
It seems, they concluded, that they revolve
Around the sun. Heliocentric heresy foamed
The church. God skipped a stone over still
Waters and thought at least someone got it
Right, but damn that Inquisition!
“Thou has given him dominion
over the works of thy hands,
thou has put all things under
his feet…the birds of the air
and the fish of the sea, whatever
passes along the paths of the sea…”
What’s this? Man has dominion over the
Earth, at least according to some biblical
Translations and misinterpretations.
And so they raped and plundered the land
As they figured, they were my “Chosen One’s.”
Just one little slip of the tongue, or was that
A typo; so much for Divine Inspiration.
God was getting really ticked!
By the pond’s edge God noticed his footprints
disappearing in the wet sand and wondered
about the potential symbolism of that, when
enter stage left…
Darwin, who God had done some post graduate
Work with during one of his many inspection
Visits, conjectured and theorized, during
Phase 5 that it wasn’t Adam’s rib that got us
Here. Looks more like natural selection, our
Gene pool, it seems, comes from apes. I’m
Sorry our origin is no mistake. God laughed
At this because no one actual stopped to think
How he had created HIS world with evolution.
Cute little trick HE thought.
Those southern school boards are fighting still
And there’s bound to be yet another ape trial.
It never stops. HE sighed.
It was sometime during Phase 6, Freud
Elucidated the holy trinity of Id, Ego and
Superego and soon man discovered that
He had become so detached from self and
Governed more by the unconscious they
Really weren’t capable of more than petty
Anal fixations. Quite disturbed at this
God metaphorically closed the door and left
Us sleeping on the couch, muttering and
shaking HIS head once again…
“The measure of what?”
Relatively speaking, Einstein hypothesized
During the final phase 7 that man is actually
Weak. The power lies in the unobserved, the
Atom, but not once did he stop and think that
They would actual make and then use that bomb.
God sadly shook his head, slowly pulling out
his lawn chair and while sipping on a lemonade
HE paused and thought,
Just where did HE go wrong down by the
Primordial pond.
“The Lord looks down from
heaven upon the children of men
to see if there are any that act
wisely, that seek after God.
They have all gone astray,
They are all corrupt,
There is none that loves God,
No, not one…”
“Jesus Christ, I’ve got it,” God exclaimed
Knocking over his lawn chair in his rush
to get to the pond, “Next time I’ll start
evolution from land to water!”
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