Parent interviews with Chinese parents

Why Chen Does not Play on any Teams

As a Principal in Jinhua, China...

I did not schedule parent/teacher interviews at the end of semester two for all of the parents this year because I felt that it was totally unnecessary.  My reason was what I term the 6% factor.  My experience back in Canada with Chinese parents, although positive in a different way, always led down the same rabbit hole.

In such interviews, in Canada, the mother, never the father, invariable asks of me: How can Chen do better?  (If in fact her son’s name is really Chen).

I feign a cough, avert my eyes, enabling me to roll them and say, “But your son did score 94% on his economics exam and by every measure that we hold holy in the Commonwealth and the entire Dominion of Canada that is actually considered by most to be an excellent grade.”

“Yes, the mother says with some degree of patience in her voice, “But what happened to the other 6% of his mark?”

You see the 6% factor.

I mildly grind my teeth and tense my muscles since I have gone through this particular drill many times before and I have already, in my mind, raced ahead of the interview and am thinking, “Holy mother of Jesus is she not listening, or does she just want to wring every last ounce of individualism, joy, free time and spirit ourt of this poor kid?”

Instead, I smile and say, “What does Chen do for fun after school?  Is he on any teams?”

The mother is likely thinking at this point, as she too has probably gone through this process with teachers many times before at other times in other schools, “Holy father of Confucius, is this man dense...is this not a simple straight forward question, not some mystic Taoist  enigma.”  She looks sideways and gives a gentle, polite cough.

We share a moment of quiet across the desk and stare at each other for a brief moment in time.

If I wore a tie I would now straighten it.  I do sit straight, impeccable posture lends credibility.  I endeavor to explain to the mother that the so called missing marks are what I call located in a matrix called the holistic ether in what educators term the vague but otherwise nebulous place that can only be reached by clicking your pedagogical heels three times thereby expanding the soul outward in widening spirals in a quest for knowledge and insight often away from the core curriculum and in the ultimate quest of becoming a diverse student, and only then will the glory and radiance of the missing 6% show itself and shine down and bless Chen with ultimate perfection and insight, or you know words to that effect.  Chen is an unfolding hyperbola and is always approaching yet never reaching the point where ying intersects yang or the point of nirvanic bliss of Tom and Jerry.  I say this with a straight face.  I do not smile.  This is after all a Catholic school, so I make the sign of the cross.  The mother goes away perplexed yet hopeful.

So, you can see I did not schedule interviews with the parents of 246 students simply to avoid this type of no win situations in which over zealous parents force the limits of diminishing returns and hope to achieve perfection in their children.

To me it is like smuggling tea from Jinhua to Shanghai.  You can do it, but why bother.  Chinese parents often seem unable to receive kudos for their children and always demand more.  There is too much pressure on kids to perform.  They tend to lose their childhood in the process.

Instead I met with the parents of the few students who were actually struggling, or actually failing a course.  I thought I could help them.  I thought my time and theirs would be better spent.