Gender pronouns.

Gender Pronouns

 

Recently, I was at a family gathering at my sister’s apartment.  Usually in family discussions after we have covered the small talk and usually during coffee and after dinner we systematically solve the majority of the world’s problems.  If my brother is present, a hard core right winger, we seldom solve anything and only go on to create more family animosity.  However, on this evening, my brother away we were poised to solve the seventh of the world issues, mainly the Made in China issue and off-shoring.  Somehow we never got there as out of nowhere like a Chinook wind we landed on the topic of gender pronouns.

 

My nephew who somehow introduced this topic seemed to have some level of expertise which baffled and astounded the rest of the family.  I believe the reason for entry into this realm of topic was an experience or discussion, maybe it was an out of body experience I was never clear on the origin; but he was passionate and animated on this topic as much as he was perplexed frustrated and confused concerning the ever growing number of gender pronouns and their associated political correctness.  I soon realized this was far more interesting than off shoring manufacturing to China and quickly encouraged and directed the family discussion on this dangerous wayward route.

 

I can recall fairly recently in my home town of Waterloo a professor, I think in the music department at one of our three universities got into difficulty over the incorrect use of gender pronouns.  I also remember thinking how is this even possible as I was aware of, at the time of the he/she combo that I grew up with and all the anxiety through puberty of dealing with the social permutations and combinations of what could go wrong with two genders.  I was silly and naive as their is a vast continuum of gender possibilities that change over space and time undulate over the curvature of human experience and impact every permeable indentation of the social walls we construct on life’s journey.  That professor I reference was screwed the moment he/she said he/she in a class situation to a non-binary audience many of whom were likely in various stages of gender transitioning.

 

We know the universe is expanding outward at incredible speed with great forces from its origins commencing with the Big Bang and in the process changing the face of physics as we know it.  The same can be said for the world of pronouns.  That sad professor did not realize, and I would be in this same category  that using  the wrong pronoun in these times can be offensive and potentially harmful.  One, if I may be so liberal as to use that term, can run the risk by ignoring  a person’s pronouns can also imply that people are perhaps under the transgender umbrella for example those who are transgender, non-binary, or even gender non-conforming.  It is if in fact they do not exist.  The professor was busted   These are dangerous times in which we live.

 

I think I still know what a pronoun is. I have taught English. I am an english teacher, but now in the face of new possibilitiesI find I tremble in the face of these parts of speech that theoretically replace an antecedent noun, but in a social sense do so much more.  I am aware of personal pronounssuch as  I, we, you, he, she, it and they. There are your over bearing demonstrative pronouns ( this, that, these, those), relative pronouns (who, which, that, as), indefinite pronouns (each, all, everyone, either, somebody), interrogative pronouns (who, which, that), reflexive pronouns (myself, herself) and possessive (his, her, our, their my, your).  But there seems to be now a whole set of pronouns that quite frankly don’t even sound like English.  Try co, cos cosself?  In a sentence Ze laughed with zir friends enjoying zirself.  

 

Recently, I attended a classical concert, a quintet was performing a selection of Schubert and Brahms compositions.  In the introduction the speaker first thanked all the sponsors, also as is now the custom thanked the native ancestors on whose land we were sitting and listening to the concert, then he proceeded to tell about himself briefly including his pronouns.  I was alert.  I had never heard that in an introduction or anywhere else before.  The speaker was a he/him which sounded, dare I say with the realm of social acceptability and in a flash he was on to some trivia about Schubert.  So I wondered did Schubert or Brahms have this problem with learning new pronouns.  I was thinking about this through the whole concert.

 

There is an entire etiquette built up around the correct use of pronouns, what if you get the pronouns wrong, do you apologize, can you over apologize, can you traumatize a person with the wrong pronoun.  I was told or maybe I read it somewhere, to be safe just memorize everyone’s pronouns and never assume their pronouns, never use masculine or feminine, if you can do all that you will likely stay in pronoun Switzerland. 

 

I just think at my age I stand at the brink of confusion and bewilderment and If I change it will be a slow reluctant change.  I do recognize a gender identity spectrum, but I really want no part of it.  However, I’m not oblivious to changing mores and keeping up with social change and adaptability.  If I have to I personally could identify with several pronouns even if it sounds like a foreign language, but is that really enough?

 

My personal arsenal of identification is much stronger, much deeper and far more meaningful because I know that how, as a person I identify internally in a modern society like ours I must clearly but not necessary succinctly express that externally.  I therefore have come to use an elaborate array of specific adjectives, at least 67 at last count, and the list is growing, adverbs approximately 43, also growing. I also utilize verbs, in all tenses, including gerunds.  I have discovered that in my quest for gender expression clarity and my place in the sun, the use of nouns, prepositions, conjunctions and articles both definite and indefinite are arguable highly beneficial.  I may be a cis-male and although I recognize that maybe a mere social construct perpetuated by my family doctor at the time of my birth I am pretty sure that I am on a single spot on the gender spectrum and hope to stay there unless removed for insubordination by a committee of my non-binary peers.