The Last Grain of Rice Chapter 3

 

Chapter 3

Life as Art

    Life as art, father and son are in a freeze frame, a tableaux precariously fixed in the moment.  In their scene they sit still, quietly, on the high backed couch in their living room before an RCA black and white cabinet television, a show featuring a chimpanzee wearing sunglasses sitting on a beach-chair, in tones of grey.  Through the static filled reception canned audience  applause and laughter works to seduce the boy to laughter.  He is engrossed by what he sees on the screen.  Father and son share the moment  independent of the other.  There is no emotional connection. If they were actors in this improv the father, with a sense of urgency, attempts his role. He wants to be connected to his son. He wants to share the intimacy of laughter that his son enjoys with the antics of the  chimpanzee. He realizes he is tragically out of character and cannot properly visualize his role as father. It is out of focus.  He knows his relationship with his son is slipping away from him. He is aware of his short comings, he is not good with people, especially with children, with his own son.  The father felt alone.  His life always played from the outside looking in afraid to let his inadequacies be seen by others.  He regretted the growing abyss between himself and his son.  They sat silently together after the show ended, each in their own thoughts.