I The Fool

I the Fool

Five long years would pass before we met again as strangers; but on this night we roasted marshmallows on sharpened sticks while watching our giant shadows cast by the camp fire against the sedate Ponderosa Pines and gazed in awe as the sparks cascaded like tiny meteorites.

She slurped her hot chocolate from a travel mug from Starbucks and peered up at the night sky.  “You see that tiny streak of light moving across the sky.”  I held her small hand and I pointed skyward with hers.  “That’s a satellite.  It will be over China in 15 minutes.  Quick drink up your hot chocolate before the Chinese take it all.”

I smiled as the chocolate  dribbled down her chin.  Our eyes caught and I jokingly said, “You must be the clumsy daughter.”  We laughed together for the last time.

The following morning from our camp site we hiked and saw an elk calf with her mother in a meadow.  We gave her a wide berth. The Mothers can be dangerous. “I wonder what she named her baby?”

My daughter whispered as we passed.  “Looks like a Bambi to me.”

By the lake we took pictures near  the rocks lining the path where the chipmunks, in quick succession darted in and out as clouds scudded to block the sun.  We reached the tea house and drank our hibiscus and orange blends like two plantation owners surveying their fields.  We sat comfortable in our silence watching the summer rains.

The next morning, in Calgary, parked beneath the soaring ski jump a remnant legacy from an 80’s Olympics we sat waiting patiently, quietly smelling like camp fire smoke and bacon fat waiting for their mother to arrive and take the girls for the balance of the summer.  My allotted time was over.

My eldest slowly placed her sleeping bag and back pack in her mother’s dirty van.  She helped her younger sister do the same. It was the van we has purchased together eons before in a another life for family travel and vacations.

I said my good-byes to two sad and down cast faces.  A quick hug because lingering is painful.

“I love you daddy”  in chorus and they were gone.

Then

Turning to my station wagon

“SHE”

Thrust some papers and told me to sign.

We argued loudly.

I told her that in the lawyers office and not here was the place for papers.

I ripped the paper and they fluttered to the pavement in section B stall 34, like acid rain

Persistent and ever aggressive she yelled, “See your father doesn’t love you.  He won’t sign the papers.”  She got into my Outback.

“Get out I said, you trespassing bitch…reason was dead and gone.

Foolishly, I drove forward.  Reason dictated to get out and run and never look back. 

By the curb she started to get out, but as I sped to safety she raised her arm as if to make one final irrational point and have the last word.

“You tell your sisters…”  her arm now inside the car as I had already started to accelerate she never finished that sentence.

She withdrew her hand, but likely caught it on the door losing her balance she fell and hit the curb.  Her blood mixed with her hate.

Before even reaching the Trans Canada highway I knew how screwed I was. I knew how she would spin these events and what little chance I would have to explain.  She had already phoned in an assault charge to the police  who were now searching for me.  She had explained in detail her version of the events as to how I had dragged her through the parking lot as she hung on to the car door for dear life, as I swore and laughed at her.

At the sight of the first cruiser I turned my self in and described the situation.  Surrendered myself to the officer and left my car in a mini mall parking lot.  

I spent the night in jail staring at my feet and all I could see were dancing shadows on Ponderosa Pines.

“You must be my clumsy daughter and I the fool.”