Why I Hate Rogers
I really do not like large corporations. I especially do not like Rogers. Considering how many large corporations there are that really speaks volumes to my hatred level. I could have picked Wal-Mart, which I merely detest, for its abuse of its part time work force and union busting tactics. At one Quebec location Wal-Mart chose to close an entire store rather than allow a union to make inroads involving labour inequities, but I still picked Rogers.
Exxon qualifies for my contempt for the environmental mess it caused in the high Arctic, Enron for its greed and corruption, BRE-X for its blatant lies about non-existent gold reserves in Indonesia, IKEA because so much assembly is required, (I also hate their allen wrenches) Shell, Mobile, BP, ESSO, or any other multinational petroleum company for excessive profiteering over long weekends and enabling global warming, but I chose Rogers.
Rogers is a communications company with a near complete inability to effectively communicate with its customers. In fact I don’t even think Rogers likes most of its customers. Yesterday, it was about the middle of the month, about 2 o’clock, I was paying my Rogers through the convenience of my Bell land line. My itemized bill indicated that, for my bundle package, including my cell phones, high speed internet service and my basic cable package, I owed a grand total of $165.47. However, the customer service individual I talked to, who may or may not have been in Bangalore, India, informed me that my bill was 358.17. The pencil I was holding in my left hand snapped and flew across the room nearly putting out my wife’s eye. She doesn’t like Rogers either.
Biting my tongue, which drew blood, I asked as politely as possible why my bill showed one amount and yet I was now being told an amount that was double. “Well sir the difference is what you will owe on June 15th. Quickly I checked my calendar and noted that June 15th was an entire month away and I was therefore being billed for the month of communication services that I had not yet received or used. Quietly, and calmly I paid the lesser of the two amounts all the time thinking how much I hate Rogers.
My Rogers land line didn’t work and I had to have it disconnected because the technician had hooked it up next to my micro wave. Every time I zapped my coffee I simultaneously disconnected my wife as she talked long distance to her mother in Victoria. Now my mother-in-law does not like Rogers either.
In order to discontinue my Rogers land line service I had to return a modem to one of the convenient Rogers stores on the other side of the city. When I located such a store I was told that they couldn’t make the return because their system was down. They provide the service and their system was down, that did not instill a high level of confidence. I hate Rogers.
The next day I was able to return the modem only to receive a letter from Rogers a week later stating that I hadn’t returned the modem, implying that I had stolen it and perhaps sold it on e-bay. They further informed me that since I seemed to be of such vile and low moral character I owed them $340 for the stolen modem.
On my third trip to the Rogers store I showed one of the clerks my accusatory letter and explained that I had in fact returned their merchandise and would not be paying for the modem that they lost. A quick 35 minute search of their records (they were not computerized) showed that I had in fact returned the modem. The clerk smiled and reassured me by saying that’s okay this happens to about 1 in one hundred customers. Imagine a corporation with a form letter suggesting that their customers are petty thieves.
I hate Rogers because most of the messages I get on my Rogers answering service are from Rogers complaining about my bill, which at the time of their harassing message may not be due for another month. If Rogers was a person, then judging by the frequency of their messages to me it could appear to an outsider that I am having an affair with someone named Roger.
I hate Rogers because of the inane robotic voices they use on their answering menus. “Press 5 for tech assistance from India.” I usually lose track after the sixth or seventh option. I have always hoped, but never had the patience to reach the last numerical menu choice: sentient carbon based life form.
The plot thickens…
Since my diligent, intelligent daughter, Meghan, is also a university student and is working two jobs as a nanny and a waitress, as well as volunteering in a day care, her mother and I have agreed to, amoung many other things, support her by paying her Rogers wireless bill. It is much like the federal/provincial cost sharing programs. In this situation I play the part of Ottawa and Meghan is Newfoundland or maybe Ontario.
Last month her bill was about $150; her itemized account ran into 7 pages using a 5 point font. It indicated that over a thirty day billing period she had been on the phone, not counting texting, for a total of 24 hours. Quick math, twenty-four hours, (whether you use metric or not), is still one day. The Earth will rotate once completely on it axis from west to east and Meghan would not have hung up the phone.
Meghan’s talking prowess translates to one minute out of every thirty on her Blackberry. This may not sound like anything too staggering until you factor into the thirty minutes, time for such miscellaneous activities as sleeping, eating (can be done with a cell phone) studying (usually done with a cell phone), working, entertainment, work outs and uninterrupted free thought on any topic with face to face conversations with other like minded sentient carbon based life forms.
I don’t wish to sound punitive because I have seen Meghan without a cell phone in her hand. Once. At that time she had a very vacant look on her face, her hands were trembling and she was near tears. Talking on a cell phone is much like any other cult activity. I understand cults because a drive a Subaru. There is nothing wrong with Meghan that a month of intensive deprogramming can’t fix.
I can forgive Rogers their inability to communicate, their excessively long waits for tech support, their numerous random inefficiencies, the fact that they own the Blue Jays, and have ruined Maclean’s Magazine, their unethical billing practices and their constant harassing voice messages.
All I ask is that they give me my daughter back.
I hate Rogers.
Marty Rempel
From “Monkey Mind”
I really do not like large corporations. I especially do not like Rogers. Considering how many large corporations there are that really speaks volumes to my hatred level. I could have picked Wal-Mart, which I merely detest, for its abuse of its part time work force and union busting tactics. At one Quebec location Wal-Mart chose to close an entire store rather than allow a union to make inroads involving labour inequities, but I still picked Rogers.
Exxon qualifies for my contempt for the environmental mess it caused in the high Arctic, Enron for its greed and corruption, BRE-X for its blatant lies about non-existent gold reserves in Indonesia, IKEA because so much assembly is required, (I also hate their allen wrenches) Shell, Mobile, BP, ESSO, or any other multinational petroleum company for excessive profiteering over long weekends and enabling global warming, but I chose Rogers.
Rogers is a communications company with a near complete inability to effectively communicate with its customers. In fact I don’t even think Rogers likes most of its customers. Yesterday, it was about the middle of the month, about 2 o’clock, I was paying my Rogers through the convenience of my Bell land line. My itemized bill indicated that, for my bundle package, including my cell phones, high speed internet service and my basic cable package, I owed a grand total of $165.47. However, the customer service individual I talked to, who may or may not have been in Bangalore, India, informed me that my bill was 358.17. The pencil I was holding in my left hand snapped and flew across the room nearly putting out my wife’s eye. She doesn’t like Rogers either.
Biting my tongue, which drew blood, I asked as politely as possible why my bill showed one amount and yet I was now being told an amount that was double. “Well sir the difference is what you will owe on June 15th. Quickly I checked my calendar and noted that June 15th was an entire month away and I was therefore being billed for the month of communication services that I had not yet received or used. Quietly, and calmly I paid the lesser of the two amounts all the time thinking how much I hate Rogers.
My Rogers land line didn’t work and I had to have it disconnected because the technician had hooked it up next to my micro wave. Every time I zapped my coffee I simultaneously disconnected my wife as she talked long distance to her mother in Victoria. Now my mother-in-law does not like Rogers either.
In order to discontinue my Rogers land line service I had to return a modem to one of the convenient Rogers stores on the other side of the city. When I located such a store I was told that they couldn’t make the return because their system was down. They provide the service and their system was down, that did not instill a high level of confidence. I hate Rogers.
The next day I was able to return the modem only to receive a letter from Rogers a week later stating that I hadn’t returned the modem, implying that I had stolen it and perhaps sold it on e-bay. They further informed me that since I seemed to be of such vile and low moral character I owed them $340 for the stolen modem.
On my third trip to the Rogers store I showed one of the clerks my accusatory letter and explained that I had in fact returned their merchandise and would not be paying for the modem that they lost. A quick 35 minute search of their records (they were not computerized) showed that I had in fact returned the modem. The clerk smiled and reassured me by saying that’s okay this happens to about 1 in one hundred customers. Imagine a corporation with a form letter suggesting that their customers are petty thieves.
I hate Rogers because most of the messages I get on my Rogers answering service are from Rogers complaining about my bill, which at the time of their harassing message may not be due for another month. If Rogers was a person, then judging by the frequency of their messages to me it could appear to an outsider that I am having an affair with someone named Roger.
I hate Rogers because of the inane robotic voices they use on their answering menus. “Press 5 for tech assistance from India.” I usually lose track after the sixth or seventh option. I have always hoped, but never had the patience to reach the last numerical menu choice: sentient carbon based life form.
The plot thickens…
Since my diligent, intelligent daughter, Meghan, is also a university student and is working two jobs as a nanny and a waitress, as well as volunteering in a day care, her mother and I have agreed to, amoung many other things, support her by paying her Rogers wireless bill. It is much like the federal/provincial cost sharing programs. In this situation I play the part of Ottawa and Meghan is Newfoundland or maybe Ontario.
Last month her bill was about $150; her itemized account ran into 7 pages using a 5 point font. It indicated that over a thirty day billing period she had been on the phone, not counting texting, for a total of 24 hours. Quick math, twenty-four hours, (whether you use metric or not), is still one day. The Earth will rotate once completely on it axis from west to east and Meghan would not have hung up the phone.
Meghan’s talking prowess translates to one minute out of every thirty on her Blackberry. This may not sound like anything too staggering until you factor into the thirty minutes, time for such miscellaneous activities as sleeping, eating (can be done with a cell phone) studying (usually done with a cell phone), working, entertainment, work outs and uninterrupted free thought on any topic with face to face conversations with other like minded sentient carbon based life forms.
I don’t wish to sound punitive because I have seen Meghan without a cell phone in her hand. Once. At that time she had a very vacant look on her face, her hands were trembling and she was near tears. Talking on a cell phone is much like any other cult activity. I understand cults because a drive a Subaru. There is nothing wrong with Meghan that a month of intensive deprogramming can’t fix.
I can forgive Rogers their inability to communicate, their excessively long waits for tech support, their numerous random inefficiencies, the fact that they own the Blue Jays, and have ruined Maclean’s Magazine, their unethical billing practices and their constant harassing voice messages.
All I ask is that they give me my daughter back.
I hate Rogers.
Marty Rempel
From “Monkey Mind”
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