The Wondrous Celestial Navigational Misadventures
of Irving J. Delacron Jr.
(As Told By Mother Racoon)
Mother racoon and her family of seven kits lived on the edge of the deep and dark Boreal Forest. Their home was in the hulk of a rusty, very old abandoned car. They lived in a 1976 blue Ford Pinto with a white vinyl roof.
A large round hole in the middle of the windshield served as the only way in and out. Mother chose the car for their home because none of the other larger animals could get in through the hole to bother them. It was snug and secure.
The raucous racoon children: Bandit, Trashy, Roco, Tico, Sylvie, Rascal and Panda were often teased at school by all of the other forest animals because they were poor and lived in an old car. Some of the other kids were quite mean, especially the selfish little rabbits, foxes and squirrels.
Life was busy for a single-mother racoon living in a sub-compact car with such a large family. Dinner time was always a challenge, even though racoons were omnivores. Sylvie, the oldest daughter, declared herself vegan. Roco and Trashy were gluten intolerant. Rascal did not like kale. Bandit was just plain and simple, a picky eater, which was very rare in the racoon world.
After the chores were finished for the evening and all the homework was done, it was bedtime and story-time. The children brushed their teeth, washed, changed into their pyjamas and jumped into the large bed located behind the back seats, in the trunk of the car. It was cozy, dark and quiet.
As they were very poor they had very few toys and story books. Mother racoon was best at telling bed-time stories.
“Tonight my little darlings I will tell you a wonderful story about an enchanted princess who lived in a magnificent castle. She was rescued by a prince in shining armour.”
Roco, chimed in, “Mom we’ve heard that one a thousand-million times, pleaseeee pick another story!!!!”
Mother, slightly puzzled, thought a moment…”then my pretties I will tell you a story about an Ogre living under a bridge…only to be interrupted by Bandit, “Yes, yes, yes, and then the big bad ogre blah, blah, blah. We know how that one ends too.”
More frustrated, mother suggested, “Oh curious children, what about the three bears…”
“Aaaww, no way, “ they all shouted at once!
Mom was not allowed to finish her sentence.
Sylvie, pleaded, “Mother just tell us a story we have never heard before. Be creative!”
“You’ve got this Mom,” said Roco.
Hopefully, you can imagine that as a single mom she was very tired after a long day of cleaning the car, cleaning up after seven very active kits, taking them to school, packing their lunches, checking their backpacks, doing the laundry, getting groceries and the million-zillion things moms do for their family every day. She was very tired!
Mother Racoon thought for a very long time until the children were all certain she had fallen asleep.
“Mom, you awake,” Bandit prodded?
Mother looked up and glanced around the masked circle of eyes staring back at her. She slowly and deliberately said, “Have you heard the story about the Goose and the Swallow?”
The children looked at each other in puzzled amazement. Rascal, the joker in the family, shone his flashlight, like a concert strobe light, wildly at the ceiling, which was really the trunk of the car.
They shouted together, “Tell us that story, we’ve never heard it before.”
Mother paused and thought long and hard. Like most parents who are put on the spot, she was about to make up a story and she knew it had to be a good one.
Mother was a little nervous as she began her tale. She was up against a tough crowd. Racoons were known to be mischievous, maybe it was just the masks. She wasn’t sure, but her kids were masters of mischief.
“Rascal, give me that flashlight!”
The kits settled in for their story. A hush fell over the audience as she began.
“The story, mother said, stalling for time, is called, “The Wondrous Celestial Navigational Misadventures of Irving J. Delacron Jr.”
Irving J Delacron Jr. was a misunderstood Canada Goose. He was a very weak flyer. His swimming skills were not much better. He was also shy and lacked confidence. He had very few friends. In fact he really didn’t have any friends at all. Irving did not shine.
Rascal poked Roko hard in the ribs, “Remind you of anyone?”
“Hush Rascal, listen to the story,” mother said sternly. “You may learn something.”
Mother began the story.
At school Irving’s report card showed an “S” for every subject. His worst subject in school was “Celestial Navigation”. You see Irving was one of the migratory geese who could not find his way. Ever!
In Gym class when all the other geese were practicing the classic V-formation, used by geese while flying, Irving’s teacher often raised his voice reminding Irving to fall into line. ‘Fly slightly higher than the bird in front of you. It’s all about form’.
No matter how hard he tried Irving just couldn’t get it quite right.
His parents were so worried about Irving’s poor progress in school. They took him to see a special doctor, a Gooseologist. She reported that Irving Jr. had a learning disability, something to do with his early imprinting as a gosling. No one in the family quite understood the report, but everyone was very worried about Irving. His parents felt they had been bad parents.
Winter was coming soon and Irving’s extended family and all of their friends and their friends were all flying South for the winter, with all of the other “Snow Birds”. This way they could escape the cold Canadian winter. Irving knew he had to practice his drills and navigational skills more than ever, before the semester ended and migration began.
Meanwhile, way down South in an exotic place in South America called, Argentina, a young, beautiful Swallow named Ava Tori Diaz was also getting ready to migrate with her family. Ava and her extended family and all of their friends were flying North for the winter. Unlike Irving, Ava was a whiz at celestial navigation and flying. However she “sucked” at swimming.
“Mom,” interrupted Bandit, “you said a bad word.”
“Okay, sorry, she was not a good swimmer.”
The two flocks of birds set off on the same day. Irving’s family of Canada Geese flying South and Ava’s family of Swallows flying North. Each flock flew long hard hours into the night and the following days. They each navigated by the booming sound of ocean waves and from the constellations in the night sky.
During the night on the fortieth day of flying Ava’s flock made a gentle landing in San Juan, Capistrano in California, 6000 miles from their home.
At about the same time Irving’s exhausted flock set down on a small lake near Houston, Texas on the Gulf of Mexico. BUT IRVING WAS NOT WITH THEM!
His parents were frantic! Where was Irving?
Dazed and confused, after separating from his flock during stormy weather somewhere over the mountains Irving was unable to navigate on his own. He could not tell the Big Dipper from Orion or any other constellation. Irving awkwardly landed in the middle of a flock of Swallows in a sleepy place called Capistrano.
“Mom,” Sylvie exclaimed, “That’s where Ava just landed too!”
The racoons were now more eager and excited to hear their mother finish the story.
“Yes, I know,” Mother said in a tired voice. In fact Ava walked right over to Irving to see what all the fuss and bother was about.
Ava and Irving met for the very first time. They looked deep into each other’s eyes for what seemed like forever. Even though they were from different worlds and different flocks, Irving felt an instant friendship with Ava.
That magic moment came to a quick ending when Ava instantly slapped Irving hard across the back of his head with her wing.
‘Just what are you trying to do you big-dum-silly-bird,’ she shouted at Irving.
The racoons were immediately upset, “Mom you can’t call Irving a big-dum-silly-bird. He doesn’t deserve that!”
“Kids,” mom replied, I didn’t say it, Ava said it.”
“Easy out mom, totally unfair, so how does the story end?”
Okay, my curious little babies, it’s bedtime, but in a nut shell, they become life long friends. They over come their many differences, their families migrate together, even to Argentina where the Swallow family lives in a fancy Cadillac. Irving is accepted into both flocks and makes many friends. He has many stories to tell and starts doing better in school and the other kids stop teasing him.
The End!
So when you go to sleep tonight, think about what you can learn from Irving, said mom.
“But mom,” Bandit asked, does he still get lost?”
“Do most Families live in cars,” asked Panda?
“GOOD NIGHT,” said mom as she left the bedroom-trunk. She reclined the passenger seat, turned the radio on low and listened to some relaxing jazz!..
Now It’s the end.
